---The art of letting go

If there's one thing that keeps me from saving my teary eyes, is when I need to give up on something. I admit that it's not such good quality to harbor, especially when what I'm giving up will mean a change. People come and go, and so as friends which is a lot easier to handle rather than what is intangible. Just because memories and pain is all that's left, the letting go part becomes tough. The timing is sporadic, but mostly the confrontation is emotional.

At work I have found friends. They have become my constant companion during idle time within my 8 hours shift. I got used to being around them during lunch breaks, coffee time, business reviews, calibrations, conference calls, etc. The other day, we were doomed by shocking news that we're shedding off 34 fte's including and a few managers, ranked according to their year-to-date performance. I don't really blame the authorities for making such decisions especially if it will benefit the many. Anyway, it was sort of old "news" already because we were warned months ago and we never really thought of its forthcoming. The now, is just surprising. The "choosing” came definitely with strict scrutiny and strategic reason as to how we need to rank them. Modesty aside, I have faith that my spot is at least not anywhere on the 4th quartile nor the third but it doesn’t give me reason to be complacent anyway. I got this confirmed when the list wast shown to me in my recent business review, 9th spot out of 30 teams.Not bad, I mused.One amongst the team member sadly came from my team. I don't have any other choice but to give him another opportunity elsewhere rather than wait for his consequence month over month until he is permanently dismissed. He may not constantly pass in scorecard, but as a team member, he has been very pleasant to his peers and obliging at all times. Part of me felt that I could have defended him and choose others instead, but that is being selfish. I know that he has always wanted to be transferred in one of our sites close to where live so that the proximity is not going to be an issue. The other person on my vertical is also leaving to venture her luck on other programs. Like me, I know my manager has made that tough decision to let her go, rather than be penalized month over month. The team she's handling may not be able to redeem her metrics monthly, so she needs to make that tough choice. When she found it, her tears were rushing down her cheeks as she returned to her station. She felt bad, which is understandable.

Like always, the early part is the toughest of all. We tend to justify the pain with the things we felt we did, the unfairness of the world starts to cloud our comprehension of the fact, but the truth of all is that, our ego is the first one to get hurt. The second part is thinking that you are leaving friends who have become your best buddies every day. But in a matter of days and week, it flips a switch to normal mode.

No matter how much we try, things just happen randomly. Unfortunately, the sad part is, we can never prepare ourselves of the unforeseen series of events. It's the only process we go through wherein preparations come along the way.

This is life. It’s random.