---pill ala carte

We were eating at a fast food chain nearby our residence. It was quarter past 4 am, so I wasnt expecting much diners at that time. What I anticipated were I supposed harlots dressed up in skimpy skirts almost with lurking arse and tight sparkly tops showing their enhanced bosoms. They come in pairs or most of the time with their "bosses". We frequent this place most of the time at wee hours, and considering the location, this avenue is the cradle of flesh for sale,so the scene is not new. It’s December, so extra money is much needed. While we were enjoying the breakfast, what caught my attention was an old man around 60 something, sitting on a chair, fast asleep, his hands hanging low besides him. His mouth was gaped with saliva ready to fall anytime. He would move from time to time and take a little liberty to heave his moans. On his table was a noodle-soup cup and a glass of water half full. The eye catcher was the pill laid down on the cup, it was yellow and blue. I realized that he must have forgotten to down it, due to exaggerated intoxication and dozed off. His slippers were too small to occupy his swollen toes. Across his chair was a mercury drug plastic bag with gauzes, tissues and medical goodies as if it sat there like a passive companion . A number of teenagers sat beside his table parallel to us laughing and joking noisily but still he was asleep. We continued to eat our food, drank the coffee which I regretted ordering. My gaze shifted somewhere and I didnt notice how he was awakened so, I disguised my observation. He got the water gargled it and throw it on the cup which made me almost vomit.I imagined myself being served on the same cup where he spewed just right now. Thanks to the bitter taste of coffee for healing my nausea. He drank the pill though and left walking as if he has chains shackled in between his feet.

I felt dreary. My fear of getting old and enduring pain like that showed up again.I know that in time, all the sediments of my negligence to take care of my physical body will arise by the time I am senile and unable to take care of my self. My husband and I, share the same sentiments over that issue. I dont like the idea of strolling in the mall, on a wheelchair to guide me as I watch people walk cozily around me. I dont wanna be the man I just saw, acting unbecomingly to a place he doesnt own, and loitering at the wee hours of the night hammered. He could have been sleeping on his cot at home and drink coffee when the morning comes.My point is, as we grow old, we must be more responsible to ourselves and our kids are not suppose to take this dilemnas.Albeit, I dont mean to be parrying any obligations at any given point in time to my parents. Each of us are responsible in minding what we would become later. Probably,I’d find a nursing home, where I can pay someone fix things for me not because they are forced to, but because it’s their job.

Being old is like eating with a pill as an extra dessert. When your whole body has deteriorated to function like the normal ones, they extend your strength to endure more, unluckily. We vamoosed the place like there was a huge realization left hanging over me. The crowd we left were younger ones and with body really strong and beautiful, yet I wondered if they ever noticed the man and imagine themselves years from now, wearing the same shoes. Life as we travel is cumbersome to others, fun for some, for someone like me..it’s a yet to be known… One chocolate mousse with pill on the side please?…

---And so this is Christmas…

Twelve midnight came like usual. My daughter entered into our room, a few minutes before the eve, while I was preparing for work. I thought that she was going to ask me if I shall be donned in red or green as she said was Christmas colors, instead the idea of Santa brush off her mind. She said to me convincingly that I am the real one who puts candies and chocolates on their socks when the clocks strikes at twelve. I smiled casually to her and assured her that there is a Santa riding a sleigh and quickly drops off these goodies. I wanted to ask her how she came up with that inkling, but elaborating it more might lead me to spilling the bean untimely. In time she will find it out her way too. A hug and a kiss made her feel contented. I put on her dress and she left. Downstairs the whole family was busy fixing the food. After the greetings and gifts, we ate together.

There was a little banquet attended by my husband’s kins and close friends and we were not there. The reluctance between us just poured in as if water surfacing amidst the stormy sea. It might appear to them that we are party poopers trying to catch their attention, but we are not. Sometimes things just cannot be ignored for the sake of one day event. We walked out of the compound with the Christmas lights glowed like stardust sprinkled around us.Before I become tear jerky, I hailed a cab for work.

As I walk the aisle, my reps greeted me warmly, and returned a warmer greetings and a warmer smile. Sadly that was all that I could give. A famous restaurant served the Noche Buena and I cannot say anything tasty about the food served. We are not trying to be unthankful with what the company has provided. The food was unsavory. We were served with spaghetti tossed with i-dunno-know tomato, fried chicken with honey mustard sauce which made it taste better, toasted bread hard as a frozen delight, and anyway my reps said that the best part was the brownies….tastes like crinkles.Anyway, we had our little exchange gifts. It was a wrong idea that we have to be specific on what we wanted to receive. I felt that it defeats the thought of surprise knowing that we already know what we were going to receive…charge to experience.

Later in the afternoon, I spent time with my parents and sister and daughters..and at home. The entire day was ok even if I only had two hours of sleep to stand work and Christmas. It went like people had to only let it pass for kids…and for the adults to give way for alcohol to sink in their bulging stomach.Moreover, I was delighted to see that my daughters loved the toys we bought for them. I guess, our inclination to look forward about these type of events becomes less of what is wrapped in the box but more on the real spirit of it. Unfortunately, I’m only referring to a few who are not as meaningful as others are..in the end….they are gonna say that’s all folks….

---Behind the PRESTIGE CARD

My recent skepticism on celebrating Christmas froze for a while. There were a few domestic trifles arising ironically amidst the season of giving as they so-called branded it.It can be forgotten but this aunt has an attitude of spoiling the momentum somewhere.And so my entangled mind, push this thought away to simply allow a little cheer peek through my bitter pill. My sister wanted to spend time with my parents whom we only get to see during Holidays or when they visit us here in Manila once in a while so she wanted all of us to eat in a restaurant. I was excited too. I get to laugh the way we used to do while talking about our childhood idiosyncrasies that we have outgrown as time passed by. We surprised her by giving her a nosegay of sweet smelling wild (?) i forgot….Her eyes glowed in joy and my paranoia of being old doubled. I totally forgot my problems at this point. We ate happily.

Since the kids havent completed buying their stuffs yet, we have to stand the last minute shoppers jostling and smiling at the same time. At the back of my mind, it will take us hours waiting on the line at the fitting room, at the cashier, or even waiting for your right size.I said fine! But on the contrary we did it smoothly because of this silver Prestige Card that has been sleeping on my wallet. Being a cardholder you are entitled to an exclusive fitting room, counters,gift wrapping section, while non cardholders had to wait.This loyalty program from SM made me contented at least.How to have it….just shop til you drop. =)

---nice piece

Gathering dust sheaths books and momentos
deep in the recesses of this old house
where a grandfather clock no longer chimes

Paper once bright and sturdy, now
clings to existence by mere fibers
stained by the passing of time

Lively once, were the colors of statuettes
collected in fervor from trips and loved ones
but now they fade into colorless backdrops

The scent of age, stale, yet familiar
comforts and feeds the mind with
nostalgia - memories of a life long past

One can almost hear the laughter, the tears,
the busy days passing in commotion
as time stands still in this moment

This moment, etched in cherished memories…


~E.Easter