--Redefining unconditional love

Several eons ago, say months and years, while things were much younger and newer to me, the definition of some reality is superficial. Let’s take experience and age be the basis without me assuaging my naivety. I guess wisdom really comes with age. The "love' industry was something I dared try up until marriage. Today, I realized that I still rarely know what that is. Growing up in an environment where we are obligated to understand the meaning of survival and importance of being able to stand on our two feet. And loving was a mere default of consanguinity rather than getting to imbibe realistically how it is manifested. I knew that if I obey my parents and if we were sent to good schools is a two street already of knowing we are important, but I didn't know that accepting who I am, and teaching me to be someone decent and preserving self worth is a far contradiction of haltering independence rather than caged in a cocoon. I was unaware that they do love me regardless of the condition and without judging me for who I am.
My knowledge of it was only limited. Until I get to increase my acquaintances, enjoy the company of friends and relatives, the value of its meaning grows periodically. As a person, I am conventional believer of sweet poetries, posies, holding hands and billex doux written while high in love. From sweet nothings sends shiver to my bone, superficial jealousies, to the littlest gesture of i-love-you's or random trips to anywhere even penniless to some extent. But this things last, sadly. As time passes, it also grows thin to all people. Like the ever constant change, it goes away with it. People get tired so easily to the point that during trivial confrontations or a gigantic marital -do not disturb!- sign, or friendship ruined by malice and a relationship smeared by the big word Trust, some of the good things are buried to oblivion. The insensitivity just surfaces uncontrollably even if you were already making an abrupt move to catch one's attention.

Now I ask, what really is unconditional love? Is it loving the right way or the other way around? Last month, while I was on my way to a luncheon date, I took the bus. While my eyes was stuck at the television,. My head turned left and saw an old man sitting across my seat. Their hands were clasp tightly as his wife shows a brown envelop, discussing something, and his eyes were all over her and placed his head on her shoulder.. I didn’t hear what they were talking about, but all that was evident is the realization slapping right in my face and a tinge of jealousy went rushing inside me. I suddenly turned my gazed away when I felt he was going to catch me watching them. I felt sad somehow because I envy the steadfastness of their relationship even if they have gray hair and false teeth on. The sight of this old couple reminds of good things that were passed over us. Marriages spread out on long pieces of paper, or lavish wedding presentations, rather than focusing on the bond that knots two individual becomes a way of life already. We disintegrated the essence of what keeps people motivated into fragments because we are too caught up trying to alleviate the tons of juvenile transgressions into a responsibility equating money and food. Or just because we already can stand in both feet, we forget that we once needed someone in the struggle. I guess unconditional love is showing which paths to take rather that watch them stumble in wrong acts because you do not want them to suffer the worst. It is having a unity of goals and the understanding of meeting halfway, rather than going on our own directions. Someone who doesn’t get offended when you countlessly tell them they have left over food on their faces, or that they stink or whatever.
Maybe it isn’t really. I don’t know. Proving theories like this will take lifetime of experiences, upheavals and downfall. But what if this kind just goes tired easily? I wondered... Why did we go tired easily?

---Trick or Treat!

--Sing your heart out

After several attempt to plot the team's videoke night, we've finally decided to a schedule. I didnt expect a 100% attendance, although it would make me happy to be with them regardless of their level of performance. I am enjoying working with them and time spent outside of work issues has been satisfying anyhow. My excruciatingly painful head and clogged nose was not enough reason to suspend the occasion nor the downpour ealier brought by a passing typhoon. As usual, procrastination was all over..from the 9 o'clock time, the party started at 1030.of course, that's a very culutral habit. I downed an extra strength pain reliever to alleviate my head bumps temporarily .

On a Thursday night, we were expecting more vacancies on the videoke bars, but to our surprise, at 1030, we would still be on the waiting list.Time is essential so option B: let's find another bar. We spotted another bar called Music Match,and from my recollection was the place of the first team building I have been to when I was a rep for at least 5 years back. I remembered the place was comfy and fun. Price werent too steep..so let's sing our heart out. Since I'm not a big fan of booze and smoke, and my mere presence was because I had to, the idea of singing sort of gave me a hint to enjoy. I passed some songs and sang them to the best note, which is my forte, modesty aside. I felt young again. TO be surrounded with people who's view in life may be far immature from my perspective, brush a feeling of teenage-bop sort of. They would tease me on the choice of songs queued on the machine, but the truth is, they still can sing along...which give me a safety that at least it wasnt too far from the generation that they are now.I am not that pristine.. The sad thought is, these songs just mad me cry inside.

AT 330am, they decided to eat beef brisket noodles in a obscure bar nearby my house to take off some alcohol in their system. While were busy sipping the soup, a young guy approached me and asked for my number-- which is a man sitting accross the table. I felt surprised more being it as compliment because, it gave me an impression of -Do I look like a social hammer, eating after my clubs' shift?c'mmon. Of course I lied. -I have no phone!-period...another way to say, NO. On the other side, well at least at one point I can still be noticeable at my age.*wink.

Wend home, with the smell of smoke all over my hair and dress. Put off my make-up, brushed my teeth, took my pj's and hit the sack..-Tsk My head still hurt.

-----Me and My Best Friend

When you're down and so lost,the only person you can turn to are the people who have seen the worst in you..your best friend.

TELUS Town Hall goes Ivy League

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