Of Marriage.Of Family

I came home rather excited tonight unlike the rest of the days. My husband will come for a visit and is arriving at midnight tomorrow so I would stop counting days anymore. I cant complain much about today's work since it was not an entirely busy day. We had a chance for chit chats and side conversations which make work much lighter and less stressful. We got to smile.I found an interesting book sitting by the shelf in our living and started reading it at the train on my way home. I am not a bookworm,but my recollection tells me that at one time I was a Sweet Valley High fanatic, read two novels of John Grisham, and read the all time --Gone with the wind. I have attempted to get interested a couple of times ,those written by Coelho or that Japanese author, and some others because they were all famous and widely read, but I'd stop after a few chapters, I lost the enthusiasm.Yet today, -I suddenly went way past Chapter three and that is ---something!

The house were all lit up as I opened the door.Those yellowish lights were always adding drama to the room and the fancy chandeliers hanging by the dining room makes the house more of a home than that being rented plain flat for quarters. My room mates were done with dinner though the plates were still at the table. They are in the middle of a serious conversation. I joined them a few minutes after as my stomach was inviting me for supper. We are having fish today. Yes, I screamed silently. I have been craving for fish very lately and it was served just in time to fulfill it. I sensed I already have an idea of what topic was, and I am right.

I wouldn't probably elaborate the very details tonight's tete a tete but this boils down to family matters. Marriage in itself is a family.It is a sacred thing that needs perpetual faith towards one direction. When betrayals come along the way, which becomes a trend ironically,either one amongst each partner always thrive to withstand it though some are really irreparable. Like most men, have this kind of disease to yield to temptations very easily,---and now I'm sure they will disagree. You are welcome disprove my theory though.

When you get married and bear children, your entire self changes.The definition of life is structured within the future of your kids and that instinct to see tomorrow in their eyes. Each time they call you "mama" gives an automatic job and responsibility of their well being. When they smile, they talk, or say I love you sheepishly suddenly becomes your point of interest. Their achievement in school, or when people praise or correct them in a way, is a manifestation of how you groomed them as parents. You turn to be their leaning walls as they grow.

Family is important. It is responsible in the formation of our own behavior. It instills innate characteristics different from others, of our self esteem, of how we aspire things, of the presence of love and support from your parents strengthens that personality,and the lack of it. Yet, this is ideal. I am not entirely proving that what we are now, is what our family was,
but trust me, most people become what they are now because we are a living shadow of the intangible things carried out from our parents.

I didn't grow in a perfect family. When I say perfect,I portray them as 'family that prays together, stay together' thingy.
However, we have a common vision about how to live our life to the most. My parents taught this through example as we grow. Our hesitation about many things are because we were not give enough encouragement at home. Our strength to accomplish our dreams are because we get that push and appreciation from those influential in our life.

Quite frankly, this was the first time we ever got to talk personal and I like it. This gives us, as friends and room mates , that bond to care for each other while we live in one roof. You get to appreciate their sincere effort to comfort you. I may have dealt my own trials alone which made me stronger to my own belief, and my friend here, may go another kind as compared to mine, but still at the end of the day we aim to make sure that our family is protected no matter what. And there will also come a time that everything that is now, is just part of that past, and you smile.

It's almost reaching midnight and time flew without us knowing it.Everyone went to repose as it is another day ahead in a few hours.
And yes I went to bed feeling excited for tomorrow.

Days out.

My relentless coughing is giving me some stress. At work, I'd cough in between calls and or sometimes while you are talking your throat would itch horribly. I have been waiting for today. Since we moved, I have always been eager to go home. There's so much space to linger, the cool breeze by the window, and a good spot overlooking the city. A perfect place for my blogging. Unlike the usual rest days I spent at Tiong Bahru, I've got company today. Janey and Joff are both at home, and we've panned out a few itineraries last night. Since our place is seated near Kallang River, we have decided to explore the neighborhood. We have found a temple just beside our block, and there is a long side road where people could jog anytime. There is a small awesome bridge brightly lit in the evening.

God's timely reason.

Im not the religious type I must admit. Regardless of my my absence to my social duties, I still believe about the many unexplained things by Science.

Today, my faith is tested.

My little Sam has been acting up too much already and I cant handle it anymore. Her tantrums are annoying and she can't be of help mostly.I have to bring her to a shrink. I thought my sister would accompany me, but since her back is excruciatingly painful, she will stay. So while I was prepping up, almost ready to vamoose, I saw her putting on her pants and she said she's going to see her doctor too. I thought it was her usual pain, yet she told me to hurry up all of a sudden, her face wan and silently screaming in pain. Haphazardly I grabbed my things, and as I was about to step out the room,the mirror fell off on the floor in front me along with my scream. The wind blew too heavily that it seeped to the small opening of the window pushing the mirror outwardly.I heard from someone that whenever a mirror breaks it means bad luck.---of which I think isn't true, although I would admit I got also scared.My sister became nonchalant of the shattered glasses strewn all over the floor. She told me to leave it for later as she couldn't handle the pain anymore, and I felt the sense of urgency. Hailed a cab and rushed to the clinic and unfortunately what loomed before us was an enormous queue almost filling up the whole seating capacity of the clinic, around 50 heads.A few minutes after, she ran to the rest room and vomited at the sink and felt a relief.Although her lower back was still screaming in pain. Honestly, I was afraid. Being her older sister, and seeing her like that, I have to show her source of strength. I told her to withstand it and even mention to her how many more painful stuffs I have gone through in the past that I was able to overcome. Besides the fear that it isn't anything serious, I was also thinking back how I would be able to settle this financially, knowing that our HMO has limited coverage and most laboratory tests and consultations are expensive and are to be reimbursed.My mind was praying earnestly she would be OK. For her,our trip to Mount Elizabeth ER was the longest ever, as she was calling out in pain. She was given heavy painkillers as it is deemed to be kidney stones. The staffs were dominantly Filipinos which gave us some sort of confidence that somehow, she will be taken cared of.

She dozed off with alleviating pain from the injections.Her friends, our room mate was so obliging that they helped us financially knowing that we've recently moved and practically tapped out.This gave a relief instantly. Thank God we are surrounded with really good friends.I cant think of any one else to call to. She was still a bit groggy due to the morphine injected, but we got to get going for the next step. She said the pain is manageable. Lunch passed too quickly. As we were passing some boutiques in Orchard, she was already also looking at things, window shopping in other terms, like the way we usually do when we are together at the mall. That was an indication that she's back. We quickly went to the Samsung service center and had my phone fixed, after 45 minutes, Sam is 100% in commission. The technician replaced the bloated battery and gave her a complete reflash or she said update. I'm extremely delighted. The day ended with her eating the famous Wally's ice cream in Orchard, she said, she haven't tried it before. Tomorrow, we shall return to the clinic for Xray and CTScan which is hopefully available at Fullerton. Today the good this is that she's ok and there's already the light beaming at the end of the tunnel.

.

I realized, God puts meaning to all of the things happening to us.As I was cleaning the broken mirror when we got home,I thought that isn't really a bad luck as opposed to what other people say. After all, I am lucky that the time stalled was because that nick of time saved me.I could've been hit by the glass or it shattered all over my toes. It isn't also coincidental that my sister and I had similar off today for nothing. I was there for her succor, so that I could take her at the hospital when she was in dire pain. I came here in SG to work with her because we were going to look after each other no matter what. His divine reason for things is timely. He knows rightfully when it will happen.

I trust that all will be for both favors because I trust Him.

~h