--Fed up and grumpy

I'd typically find myself so edgy these past few days. There's a feeling of so-muchness that as if what I was doing is less meaningful to others, even to those I love. Me and my hub would frantically bumped into a trifle like finances and stuffs in the house, which is the reality, I know. No matter how he says it's just plain money, but that's all why we extend what we are living for, besides the emotional and psychological hackneyed stability. I've lived with less of anything, yet, when kids come in the way, your point view into a lot of things changes completely.Everyday I ask questions but I can never randomly find an exact answer. The call for making up the ideals you have before kinda collapse for a moment then it comes back on and off, off and on. The "what I want" is shoved into one corner until I come sitting alone staring at it, that mere attempt to materialize would instill guilt feelings over those who needed some urgency. When I make more, the demand just skyrocket before your very eyes. The lesser you make money though, more empty stomachs and lapses tantamount to appearing more pathetic I guess.No matter what it is,. still simple things puts that contentment in me. I want to put up a family where they can {supposedly} have that kind of ideal life that I wanted...not perfect.Good School. Enough food to eat. And a nice house to live.I want them to travel to places as young as possible and to be able to trade experiences at a certain extent.It cant be that easy. but I have to try to make it happen.

An Adieu of A Fairy Knight

And there I stood alone limply
while each ticking of the clock
gnaws the very last sense
of me.
The cold and damp air that touches
the supple skin and inside.
A vivid past glides transversely in
each corner, every inch
An embellished bond That once occupied
this,Slips away as I gingerly grasp
to come to pass and inside.
A sad story.
Of pain.of Deceit.
Hope is fleeting like love
As I opened my eyes.
I am alone in a world
where I left it was.
The once me awaiting,
encompassing the upheaveals.
As I thrive, amidst the darkness
the torch slowly died.
turning into embers and ashes.
The story just ended.
The journey had stopped.
In the nothingness of me,I am departed.
From a distance, you watch in contentment
While I weep.
Behind the bush I sat
and hear the whispers of the knight.
The song had vanished
This room is left without
but the nothingness of me .