--Fed up and grumpy

I'd typically find myself so edgy these past few days. There's a feeling of so-muchness that as if what I was doing is less meaningful to others, even to those I love. Me and my hub would frantically bumped into a trifle like finances and stuffs in the house, which is the reality, I know. No matter how he says it's just plain money, but that's all why we extend what we are living for, besides the emotional and psychological hackneyed stability. I've lived with less of anything, yet, when kids come in the way, your point view into a lot of things changes completely.Everyday I ask questions but I can never randomly find an exact answer. The call for making up the ideals you have before kinda collapse for a moment then it comes back on and off, off and on. The "what I want" is shoved into one corner until I come sitting alone staring at it, that mere attempt to materialize would instill guilt feelings over those who needed some urgency. When I make more, the demand just skyrocket before your very eyes. The lesser you make money though, more empty stomachs and lapses tantamount to appearing more pathetic I guess.No matter what it is,. still simple things puts that contentment in me. I want to put up a family where they can {supposedly} have that kind of ideal life that I wanted...not perfect.Good School. Enough food to eat. And a nice house to live.I want them to travel to places as young as possible and to be able to trade experiences at a certain extent.It cant be that easy. but I have to try to make it happen.