--Nothing is irreversible.

Am turning 34 in a matter of days. It gives me a little fright somehow.fear of old age,grey hair showing anytime soon and life of being senile as time grows older with you..Yet part of me is thankful coz I know that in my countenance the age doesnt show any bit.I am happy too that I am doing well with my career even if it wasnt the profession my dad wanted for me. I am happy that my family is getting stronger, kids getting more mature to understand you whenever you say "No!" or why they couldnt do all thing they always wanted. Honey and I are becoming more and more focused in nurturing our family together, regardless of an abhominable past....That word stopped me. It also gives me melancholy and happiness oxymoronically.
Now, I hate talking about what-if's for same obvious reasons that it meant so hypothetical. Since I am little confrontational,I am not afraid to ever talk about it. Myk and I had so many good times together.The way we started was merely an accident because we had common friends. WE have chased so many summer time with the two of us, sleepless nights at the roof top while watching the big dipper vanish the sky, sleeping over at a friends house,paper/tissue talks, movie and sundae together, scrabble and minesweeper,food trips, randomly spend twilight at the breakwater,and I realized that all through out those time I spent happy time with him did not involve aything sensual.I could live in a world where probably mundane things is secondary than knowing the real essence of a relationship..we never lost words to speak of.
Until the unspeakable came. we were tested by physical temptations where most of the time untrue and superficial. At one one point, I felt it almost collapsed.I had to keep it to no one but myself and me. It wasnt easy but since I know him being swept over by temptation "only", I gotta hang on I said. And I did. The realization bomb dropped in his very face when he's almost about to lose the important pieces of the puzzle the keeps one good picture. ..our family. He met someone who came from a dysfunctional family, who had nothing in life but lust and trouble and cannot live a life manless where that is where all of them belong. Well it was the past. It was the worst part of his life to ever happpen..and I know no matter how much he wanted to unmake these, it'll never be undone. What he wants to do now is be more responsible of which he has been afterall.
Nothing could ever be reversed. Sometimes, during the process of doing the wrong things, there's always that someone to tell you that what you are doing is wrong, yet, the physical overwhelming ecstasy worth less than 30 seconds is what they opted to choose rather than be right, to the extent of hurting other innocent people. It's sad that these specie exist,,but the good thing I have found after that is, we know that we belong to no one else but us....
we are alter ego,nontheless.