---Yuletide grief

Last December, I got a text message from my bestfriend about the succumb of her father. It shocked me to a point where I felt being on her position. I had no cognizance or whatever about her dad’s struggle over his health ever since she started working abroad. We would normally keep our correspondence via quick chats over yahoo. Although a day prior she told me that she needs prayer for his speedy recovery.At that moment I felt something terrible. I have this i-dont-know gift where I can feel what’s going to happen. When I heard the news, I felt he was on the brink of his death which was obviously something I wouldnt ever tell my best friend. I dont want to entertain the idea of it.So I quickly put my butt in front of the pc, waited for her online and talked.

We have been friends for decades and this were the few moments we ever dont wanna share with..losing someone we love literally.I wish we could all be living, which is odd. Anyway. I remember once, when our high school crush died 13 years or so ago, we lamented over it but had it in a little obscure way. The two of us were eating on a fast food chain, and imagined he was still living and pretended as if he was with us, talking.it’s funny looking back on it. Yet this time there’s no fun like that. I would circumspectly ask her questions though not sounding insensitive. She is working abroad and I’m not there physically to comfort her. She may be miles from me, but I can sense the poignance across while she types her message sporadically,I was thinking she might be crying at that moment.

I didnt know the right words to say. I found my self just staring at the monitor while my mind tracks back the old days I ‘d spent the night sleeping over at their house while I see his dad work around., or drive, or jokes singly. One day after our conversation,she went home, I fetched her from the airport and she went to the province thereafter. Her family spent Christmas in grief which is unimaginable. As the old cliche goes, only time heals all wounds.We take things lightly as time passes. As painful as it is, we all have our threshold to pain and I know she’ll hold it up well, though the acceptance is still far from the offing. When she came back from home, she told me she didnt look at her father in the casket because the memory of her father shall remain living in her heart and mind..that once she looked at it, it maybe corrupted.

Death is imminent and we dont know when it is coming. I fear death as everyone does. I am not christianly or what-so-ever who says that the word of the Lord will make us prepare. It’s not that I want to refute the famous statement, which I think is very true, yet still there’s just a part of me that says it’s fun living.I cant be prepared. It’s fun to be alive…how about those with terminal diseases…I’m sure dying is just a gift..then maybe they are the prepared ones who needs it as a cure.